PARENT RESOURCES
Suggestions and Expectations For Parents of Student-Athletes
Before competitions, formulate answers to:
• Why do I want my child to participate?
• What role do I want them to play?
• What goals do you have for the experience?
Compare these answers to your child’s answers.
The experience is for your child. Keep things in perspective and avoid having the sport serve as the only means by which the child has an identity.
RELEASE your child to the coaches and the sport experience. You are not releasing if:
• you continue to share in the credit if things go well
• you continually evaluate and assess performance
• you try to resolve all the problems that come up in a season (playing time, injuries, penalties, etc.)
• you continue to coach them when they probably know as much or more than you!
• you yell at officials during the game
• your child is over-‐stressed and over-‐managed
• you are building excuses at the end of the games (losses don’t need to be excused)
• your child avoids you or is embarrassed at the end of the game
• your child looks to you for coaching during the game
• you’re regularly and obviously nervous, or holding on to losses
After the competition:
• use praise and encouragement – no analysis or criticism
• your child needs a parent after the game, not a coach or critic
• give your child time and space – recovery time is important
• value of the youngster should not be tied to the outcome of the competition
Parent’s Role with L-S Athletics
This list contains a number of suggestions and best practices to help you support your child and enjoy the sport.
• Do everything possible to make the athletic experience positive for your child and others.
• View the game with team goals in mind.
• Attempt to relieve competitive pressure rather than increase it.
• Encourage multi-sport participation (vs specialization).
• Release your children to the coach and the team.
• Look upon opponents as friends involved in the same experience.
• Accept the judgment of the officials and coaches; remain in control.
• Accept the results of each game; do not make excuses.
• Demonstrate winning and losing with dignity.
• Dignify mistakes made by athletes who are giving their best effort and concentration.
• Be an encourager – encourage athletes to keep their perspective in both victory and defeat.
• Be a good listener.
• Accept the goals, roles, and achievements of your child.
• If you have a concern, make sure your child feels the same way. Ask your child to discuss the concern with the coaches. If there is still a problem, set up a meeting with the coaches and your child to try and solve the problem.
• Coaches and parents should be viewed as being on the same team – we are allies.
• After a game, parents should give their children space and time.
• After a game (win or lose), youngsters need a parent – not another coach/critic.
• Parents should be confidence builders by maintaining a consistent perspective and not saying or doing anything that will have their children feel like their self-worth is tied to playing time or outcome of a game.
• There are 4 roles in interscholastic athletics: player, coach, official, parent/spectator. Pick one role only.
Thank you and enjoy the season!
LS Athletics Program Covenants
RESPECT
- Teammates – never let your teammates down
- School – reflect the LS core values (respect for human differences, promotion of caring & cooperative relationships, pursuit of excellence), abide by school wide rules
- Coaches & Teachers – trust your teaching, learn to take constructive feedback as a compliment
- Opponents – make a commitment to greet/welcome all visiting teams, play hard & fair
- Officials – captains and coaches greet officials, model poise with calls
- Differences – beliefs, customs, dress, lifestyles
- Facilities/equipment/bus – clean up areas such as fields/gyms/locker rooms after use, appoint a “master of the locker room,” respect opponents equipment & facilities
- Self – practice humility, teachable spirit, serve the team, resist temptations, remain in control during emotional times
COMMITMENT
- Team first attitude, buy into something bigger than yourself (team goals)
- Show up every day and give your best
- Start your own engine, bring enthusiasm, work just as hard when nobody is watching
- Your effort in practice should match your effort against your toughest opponent
- Be a “get it done” teammate, identify team needs and get them done
- Go the extra mile in work ethic and building relationships
- Be positive, optimistic
- Share your passion
- Protect and defend by being loyal to coaches & teammates, especially when things are going poorly, never give up
- Choose the hard right over the easy wrong
L-S SUCCESS – An Experience Beyond Victory
- “We” has mentally and physically overtaken “me”
- Personal reward is given away to team glory
- When all strengths, attitudes, energies, roles and skills are voluntarily,intentionally blended together for sake of team
- When entire focus is on collective accomplishment
Defining Roles for Players, Coaches and Parents
ROLES IN SPORTS
When parents stop and analyze the athletic experience for their children, the reasons they want their kids to play sports involve providing an opportunity to develop physically, emotionally and to enjoy.
The side-benefits of playing sports include giving kids a good opportunity to learn how to work and get along with others, to take good risks in a public arena and survive, to learn to set and achieve goals by developing positive work habits, to learn how to succeed and fail with dignity, and develop friendships outside the family unit that last a lifetime.
| Player’s role | Coach’s Role | Parent’s Role |
| • Play the game for fun • Be gracious when you win and graceful when you lose • Respect and abide by the rules of the game • Put the team above yourself in every situation • Accept decisions made by those in authority • Demonstrate respect to your opponents, coaches and teammates • Be accountable for your own actions • Develop a teachable spirit that allows you to take correction as a compliment • Accept and embrace the discipline involved in athletics, because it benefits the team • Develop a feeling of pride, based upon “shared joy” of the team, and do not have pride that emanates from arrogance or a sense of entitlement |
• Coach for the love of the game and the love of the athlete • Put the welfare of your athletes above winning • Accept and abide by the judgement of the officials and rules of the game as “mutual agreements” required to play within the spirit of the game • Reward effort and behavior instead of outcome • Give dignity to mistakes made with full speed and attention • Lead with character and by example • Put the needs of the team ahead of any individual • Constantly work to improve your knowledge of the game and your ability to teach the game to your athletes • Be willing to confront incorrect behavior or less than an all-out effort • Encourage multiple-sport participation • Keep the game simple and fun • Be willing to work with parents for the benefit of the individual athlete • Develop a positive- demanding coaching style • Be a model, not a critic, model appropriate behavior, poise and confidence |
• Attend as many games as possible • Do everything possible to make the athletic experience positive for your child and others • View the game with TEAM goals in mind • Attempt to relieve competitive pressure, not increase it • Encourage multiple-sport participation • Release your children to the coach and to the team • Look upon opponents as friends involved in the same experience • Accept the judgement of the officials and coaches, remain in control • Accept the results of each game, do not make excuses • Demonstrate losing and winning with dignity • Dignify mistakes made by athletes who are giving their best effort and concentration • Be an encourager – encourage athletes to keep their perspective in both victory and defeat • Be a good listener • Accept the goals, roles and achievements of your child |
Used with Bruce Brown’s permission (www.proactivecoaching.info)
How To Make Your Kid Hate Sports Without Really Trying
Christine Carugati, 18, of Langhorne, Pennyslvania started getting recruited to play college lacrosse the summer after the ninth grade. You heard that right — when she just finished her freshman year in high school.