Before  competitions,  formulate  answers  to:

• Why  do  I  want  my  child  to  participate?
• What  role  do  I  want  them  to  play?
• What  goals  do  you  have  for  the  experience?

Compare  these  answers  to  your  child’s  answers.   

The  experience  is  for  your  child.  Keep  things  in  perspective  and  avoid  having  the  sport serve  as  the  only  means  by which  the  child  has an  identity.

RELEASE  your  child  to  the  coaches  and  the  sport  experience.  You  are  not  releasing  if: 

• you  continue  to  share  in  the  credit  if  things  go  well
• you  continually  evaluate  and  assess  performance
• you  try  to  resolve  all  the  problems  that  come  up  in  a  season  (playing  time, injuries,  penalties,  etc.)
• you  continue  to  coach  them  when  they  probably  know  as  much  or  more than  you!
• you  yell  at  officials  during  the  game
• your  child  is  over-­‐stressed  and  over-­‐managed
• you  are  building  excuses  at  the  end  of  the  games  (losses  don’t  need  to  be  excused)
• your  child  avoids  you  or  is  embarrassed  at  the  end  of  the  game
• your  child  looks  to  you  for  coaching  during  the  game
• you’re  regularly  and  obviously  nervous,  or  holding  on  to  losses

After  the  competition:

• use  praise  and  encouragement  –  no  analysis  or  criticism
• your  child  needs  a  parent  after  the  game,  not  a  coach  or  critic
• give  your  child  time  and  space  –  recovery  time  is  important
• value  of  the  youngster  should  not  be  tied  to  the  outcome  of  the competition